Respect: 3 Things Leaders Can Do to Grow More of It

Respect: 3 Things Leaders Can Do to Grow More of It

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me…. I can hear Aretha Franklin belt it out. But how do you get it in the workplace and on production sets today?

Here are 3 thoughts and lessons I’ve learned.

Know and exert your boundaries.

One of the hardest things to learn is when to stop. I still fail at this sometimes. I’m one who likes to push the boundaries but I’ve learned over the years that sometimes you just need to throw in the towel and give it a rest. It often comes down to our self-worth and wanting to be “enough” but even more than that, wanting to be exceptional in the eyes of others. In our inward-focused social media world of comparing ourselves with others’ endeavors and achievements, this can bite back, overwhelming us with exhaustion.

Not being able to say no can also be an invasion by others of your time and energy that interrupts your ability to achieve all God has called you to do. Wanting to help and encourage others is admirable but can also be a disruption to what God’s called you to accomplish. In both of these cases, it diminishes respect because it robs us of success. Boundaries inspire others to respect your time and expertise and it can also show others how to manage their own time and purpose.

Stop trying to be perfect and impress everyone.

You’ll never reach perfection and you can’t please everyone. It won’t happen. This took me years to learn because of an older brother who died as a child. I always was trying to replace him in the eyes of my parents, who, because of their loss, unknowingly talked about him and idolized him to me. He was their perfect child who did no wrong when he walked the earth. I was an adult before I realized how their constant reminders of him had affected me. Don’t try to be perfect or impressive, be real. Be vulnerable and be willing to accept others’ imperfections. Admit when you have failed and then look for opportunities to turn failures into victories. Take the time to look people in the eye as well. Be confident in what you can do, knowing you will never be good at everything. You will gain respect for being real.

Dress better.

It’s amazing to me that I have to talk about this in today’s world, where we can afford to look better for much less. I know torn jeans and, sweats, and hoodies are the go-to choices today, especially after the pandemic, but looking put together, having a style (and I might add smelling clean) will always gain respect. It may seem superficial, but it makes a difference in what people remember about you.

Research says that we size a person up in less than 8 seconds, deciding instantly how much attention to pay that person. First impressions stick. There is also a reason a fresh haircut or manicure makes you feel good. It affects your attitude, energy, and choices. It reflects what you value and affects how others perceive and value you. Others won’t respect you until you respect yourself.

Respect comes down to knowing who you are and being courageous. Courage isn’t about being fearless. Courage comes with making the right choices, even if you feel afraid. If you want to be a “respected hero,” make the right choices. You’ll become the person who stands out and is looked up to by others. It’s worth more than gold, and it’s what God is cheering you on to become.  He wants us to be a reflective image of Himself – mind, spirit, and bodily. When you carry respect, it reflects the One exalted high and lifted up. It’s a reflection of God living in you.

An INNER VIEW with Leading Researcher, Kay Edwards

An INNER VIEW with Leading Researcher, Kay Edwards

BIO

Kay is the Chief Knowledge and Research officer at the DXM Institute for Changemaking Innovation. Hailed as the “The Questions Lady,” Kay is a national leader in research for faith-based and mission-driven organizations. For more than 30 years, she has provided customer research, market analytics, planning, collaboration management, and organizational development to both for-profit and nonprofit organizations, including Cru, Chick-Fil-A, and Thrivent. In her knowledge-leadership role for DXM™ Institute, Kay drives the development of the Institute’s platform. She is a frequent speaker on the topics of listening and relationship-building strategies for leaders, understanding what customers value, and how generational change impacts organizations. Kay believes that great leaders don’t have better answers; they ask better questions. Her greatest joy is helping leaders understand what the world most needs their organizations to do.

INNER VIEW

Kathleen Cooke: Today’s culture is about wanting clarity, so your job as a researcher is vital. The facts tell the truth but not always the whole story. We are bombarded with identity dysphoria today. What has God been teaching you through your work and perspective on why knowing who we are in Him is how we can know the facts and the whole story?

Kay Edwards: That He has called me perfect, not because of anything I have done, but because of what He has done. His finished work is my identity. Too often, women are taught to work hard to be good so that they can be loved. I have lived too much of my life terrified of not getting it right, terrified that God would be disappointed in me.

When I was growing, up my parents taught me that no matter how hard I tried, I could never please God and that He was always angry with me for not being good enough. If I had set out to create a belief system to drive someone intentionally away from God, that would have been it, and I am saddened that that was the best my parents had to offer. How terrified they must have been, too.

I am just now learning how settled God’s love is, how the moment I accepted Jesus, God’s love settled around me like clear Jesus skin that God sees me through. I don’t have to earn His love. I am inside of His love forever. I am inside of Him.

Kathleen: As you began to grasp your identity in Him and knowing that you have been made perfect through nothing you can do but through Christ’s redemptive love, what steps did you take to grow that trust within yourself?

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